Hello World
You have started seeing or dating someone but you are not sure if he or she is your type? The fact of the matter is that simple attraction is not enough for a lasting relationship. You need to be compatible or at least accepting of the type of relationship you are embarking upon.
I’m sure we all think we know the type of personal relationship we have with the one we love. When I started out with my partner, I thought I knew the dynamics of our relationship but now, years later, I can see that I was certainly incorrect and what I’ve learnt has given me more tolerance and a better understanding.
Personal relationships can start in any number of different ways but once you start there will be a sort of subconscious (or conscious) mental checklist that you will go through about the other person:
- Social aspects - family background, social standing in the community, behaviour, etc.
- Priorities and values
- Financial issues
- Education
- Personality and Compatibility
The first four points you can either see or check through many different sources. The last, on the compatibility of your personalities is a little more difficult. All that was available, until now, was psychometric testing. A little bit drastic in a social situation don’t you think! What happens if these psychometric tests say that you are only 25% compatible? Will you even bother making contact?
So what happens if you find yourself in or attracted to a controlling type of personal relationship? For starters, there is nothing wrong with that provided you both know the relationship, why it works, how it works and know the acceptance and understanding you have to have.
Some examples
Over the last number of years I have profiled many couples who would be in the category of having a conflicting type of relationship. Two couples I profiled stand out more than others because the couples were so similar in their characteristics with the husbands being the controlling influence. They were also similar in financial matters, social standing, education and age.
What was interesting was the dynamics of the relationships were vastly different. One couple were aware of the controlling aspect in their relationship and really worked at communicating and being aware and considerate of the other person. It was and is a very open relationship that works.
The other marriage was all about control and dominance to the point where the husband would forbid his wife from following interests he didn’t agree with. She made the excuse that she was a hell-raiser in her youth and now needed someone to take charge. Because of her situation she pursued her interests in secret. Observing the situation over the period of several weeks I could see her stress and uneasy frustration by her not talking and sharing. She in turn took out her frustration on her children.
Conclusion
It may be that these conflicting personal relationships are difficult and there may be fights but if the communication, desire and passion are there to make the relationship work then there is a better chance of success. If not and from what I have seen over and over again, a conflicting personal relationship has a greater chance of failure than most other types of relationships.
Something to think about
Some people think that parents shouting and screaming at each other is normal in a relationship or family. So if you have grown up with this type of situation it is probable that you may pick a similar type of relationship and relive the same problems in their personal relationships because it is what you are used to as being normal.
So if a marriage or long-term personal relationship fails and the parents of one of the couple have previously been through a divorce, when they were young, it is taken that the reason is they came from a ‘broken home’ so the failed relationship was doomed from the start. If you know the dynamics of your relationship(s) you might not have to go through that heartache!
John
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Hi, Congratulations to the site owner for this marvelous work you’ve done. It has lots of useful and interesting data. You work is realy good!
I apologise, but, in my opinion, you are mistaken. Let’s discuss. Write to me in PM.
Thank you very much for your reply. You need not apologise for your opinion. Let me know where you think I’m mistaken so I can respond. John
I really like your post. Does it copyright protected?
The site is copyright protected. The post is a guide or an insight, from my experience, into how to understand personalities and to grasp the principle of being able to determine how compatible you are with someone else.
Thank you for useful information.
interesting material