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Michael Jackson’s Personality Profile
and Compatibility with his parents
Joe & Katherine Jackson

Generally speaking I would have seen Michael Jackson and his parents having a rather good relationship.  As was and is evident he was probably closer to his mother than his father because his father may have been a little too pushy for such a successful artist.

Michael Jackson was certainly a well capable person and an incredible performer who may have lived too much of his life under the burden of intense scrutiny and speculation.

Using the personality profiling and relationship compatibility system at www.every121.com I get these insights into each of their characters:-

Michael’s Personality Profile is and was:-

GENERAL BASIC CHARACTERISTICS

- is very much “What you see is what you get”.
- dislikes secrets.
- can be extremely moral, direct and noble.
- tends to think of himself as a perfectionist.
- is active and sociable but somewhat reserved.
- loves order and discipline.
- places a lot of emphasis on family values.
- feels the home environment is very important.
- is most comfortable in a relationship where he can take the lead.
- expects loyalty in a relationship.
- can give up outside interests to return to the home or family.
- can be strong willed and sharp tongued.
- is direct in his speech.
- likes being in charge and will order others around.
- hates the idea of failure.
- dislikes strong expressions of emotion (huggy, huggy type people).
- is naturally intuitive when healthy.
- organises others as an expression of caring.
- is generally hard working.
- should not try to take control of every situation.
- can be overly rigid with things and routine.
- can be generous but expects it to be acknowledged.
- makes plans and gets sullen if they do not turn out as intended.

SECONDARY CHARACTERISTICS

- is thorough and loves detail.
- values loyalty.
- needs support and reassurance.
- usually feels things very deeply.
- with training, has the ability to have a very good memory and mental recall.
- can be hard to get close to.
- can conceal his feelings and only displays them when provoked.
- has a strong sense of what is right and just.
- usually has difficulty in asking for help.
- is considered a natural researcher.
- tends to overeat sweet things, when unhappy.
- hates to be seen as foolish or stupid so he may not be very vocal in a group discussion or conversation on a topic in which he has limited knowledge.
- likes change to happen slowly and can resist unless he initiates it.
- is usually very demanding of others.
- is generally well groomed.
- loves courtship and to be wooed.
- can experience life in a very intense way and sometimes as a burden.

Michael’s Character Dynamics

He was very easy going and did not stress himself. He would usually take things in his stride and accept them as being part of life’s experiences.  He could be dependant and needed outside motivation because he could have a tendency to wait for things to happen.

Joseph ‘Joe’ Jackson

Joe’s personality would be an exact mirror or the reverse image of Michael’s characteristics with the resulting difference in his Character Dynamics being:-  He tends to be pushy and demanding.  Can be overly observant and preoccupied with surroundings.  He is likely to have strong opinions that can lead to being a little over critical.  A friendly, but firm, guiding hand is best to get him to ease up and be more understanding.

Katherine Jackson

Michael’s mother is more the diplomat and she is less pushy than her husband.  She would also have organisational abilities and thinks in a similar way to her husband.  This might seem obvious with hindsight and given the fact that she raised 10 children but that was always in her character.  Her Character Dynamics are:-  She is able to recover easily and quickly from illnesses or difficult circumstances. She has a flexible attitude to life and a balanced emotional outlook.  Therefore, she can appear very confident.

Conclusion

All three were organised/ organising people.  Therefore it is like having too many cooks in the kitchen, it just doesn’t work.  With Michael’s father being too pushy, the mother’s diplomacy won out when it came to deciding who was to be trustee to the children and the estate.  That said, they were and are all compatible with one other.

May Michael Rest In Peace.

John                                      www.every121.com

Personal Relationships in the Spotlight

Why does a good and loving personal relationship sometimes go wrong?

You know or read about a couple who appear just perfect together and then the next thing you know, they have split up.  There are any number of examples in the celebrity world but take the article (http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/celebrity/article6609795.ece) written by Shane Watson of The Times about what is probably the most famous relationship triangle in the media, the Brangjen Triangle, as he calls it.  So what about Jennifer, Brad and Angelina?

Using the personality profiling and relationship compatibility system at www.every121.com I get these insights into each of their characters:-

Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston

First off, were/ are they compatible?  Yes they are.  What kind of relationship did they have? It was a supportive type of relationship with Brad being the supporter of Jennifer.

What is Brad’s character and how does it relate to his Character Dynamics?

If I select a few traits from his character to demonstrate the individual:-

- is usually free-spirited which can make him appear to be chaotic and undisciplined.

- he dislikes conflict or being pushed around.

- he sometimes does not see the importance of communicating clearly.

- is charismatic, flamboyant and graceful.

- can be romantic and at times nostalgic

- can expect to be taken care of and can be dependent.

- may do whatever it takes to get what he wants.

His Character Dynamics are:-

He is very easy going and does not stress himself.  He will usually take things in his stride and accept them as being part of life’s experiences.  He can be dependant and needs outside motivation because he can wait for things to happen.

Now Jennifer’s Character and how it relates to her Character Dynamics

Again, I will select a few traits from her character as follows:-

- appears gentle and easy-going but can change moods quickly.

- can be stubborn and impulsive.

- is practical, reliable and thoughtful.

- can change her mind frequently (like the wind) and this can lead to difficulties in relationships.

- needs support and reassurance.

- values loyalty.

- likes change to happen slowly and can resist unless she initiates it.

- is usually very demanding of others.

- loves courtship and to be wooed.

Her Character Dynamics

She is self-monitoring and keeps herself under control.  As a result, she is able to work on her own and is self motivated.  She does not like to be criticized as she has already done it to herself, once a mistake is realised, and this can result in a strong reaction.  She may choose to ignore perceived injustice or crusade against it especially if it has a direct impact on her life.  Under stress she may become rebellious or explosive.

Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie

Are they compatible?  Again the answer is Yes!  What kind of relationship do they have?  Yet again this is a supportive type of relationship with Angelina being the supporter of Brad.  Both Angelina and Brad have diplomatic and fun loving traits in common which would lead to them feeling a certain bond.

Finally, Angelina’s Character and how it relates to her Character Dynamics

Here is a small selection of Angelina’s character traits:-

- reflects back what others want to see and hear.

- is a natural diplomat and is generally optimistic.

- is charismatic, flamboyant and graceful.

- can expect to be taken care of and can be dependent.

- is a master of exerting passive control over others.

- does not like to feel left out.

- can spoil her men

- can experience a life of ups and downs, successes and failures.

- does not like to be taken for granted.

- people can naturally gravitate to her.

Her Character Dynamics are:-

She is very easy going and does not stress herself. She will usually take things in her stride and accept them as being part of life’s experiences.  She can be dependant and needs outside motivation because she can wait for things to happen.

What does all this tell us?

Contrary to what Shane Watson wrote it is my opinion that it has probably always been all about Brad.  In Jennifer he found a motivated successful woman with whom he was compatible.  May be she was too motivated or too demanding!  I would certainly see a lack of clear communication as being a problem so it also might have been that work schedules and success got in the way of a good relationship.  In case you are wondering and in my opinion, Angelina and Jennifer, in spite of what happened, would never have got along as they are opposites.

Speculation

Brad has now got a nice easy going supportive relationship.  He has also got his children.  So what next?  There is no real motivation for him to achieve anything else unless it is going to come from his agent or the studios.  Is he going to get bored?

Angelina also has the kids and her work as a Goodwill Ambassador for the UN Refugee Agency which fits in very well with her character.  Will her international travels as an ambassador get in the way of this relationship?  Her character is prone to continually making similar mistakes throughout life.  Could this be in her relationships?

What about Jennifer? Part of her character is that she will wait for her ideal partner to come along.  Did that already happen with Brad?  Will she ever find love again?  Or will her inner motivation keep her focussed on work?

I would agree with Shane Watson in that I don’t think this saga is over yet and as said “Bring on the next twist, please” so that I can run the next phase through www.every121.com.

John

Hello World

I have already written a few blogs and have been asked to give some examples from the 5 different types of personal relationships people can have.  Needless to say there is an infinite number of examples but where you can identify with the people the result is more pertinent.  For that reason I will pick celebrities who are currently in the news and where the information needed is readily available on the internet.

Serena & Venus Williams

Both are super athletes and finalists at the 2009 Wimbledon Tennis Grand Slam, again.  So what kind of relationship do they have?   Using the Every121 profiling system I have looked at the basic personality and the character dynamics.  This shows me that both these ladies are relaxed types of individuals with different character motivation.

This motivation comes from the interaction of each side of your two basic characteristics that is displayed in your Character Dynamics.  Venus needs outside motivation to work while Serena sees that there is a job to be done and she will do it in a very focussed and single-minded way.

Venus has the characteristics of a caring individual with natural mothering instincts.  She would also be a good learner who can absorb information quickly.  The other side of her character would lend to her being diplomatic and enjoying life’s comforts.  This would give a character dynamics of:-

‘Venus can tend to be pushy and demanding.  She can be overly observant and preoccupied with surroundings.  She is likely to have strong opinions (sort of, mother knows best) that can lead to being a little over critical.  A friendly, but firm, guiding hand is best to get her to ease up and be more understanding’.

Serena is more laid back, going with the flow and enjoying all the international contacts and people she meets.   What she learnt as a child still holds true as both sides of her personality are the same.  This leads to her character dynamics being:-

‘Serena has always had the confidence that her learnt experiences are correct which may lead to difficulties in understanding how others could have a differing opinion from similar situations.  Time and, sometimes proof, are needed for her to come to an acceptance and understanding of any differences’.

Are they compatible?

According to the ancient system developed into Every121 the two sisters are not really considered compatible.  Venus would be the controlling influence over Serena who could feel a certain amount of pressure from this relationship.   But Serena is a person who ‘gets the job done’, so it is very difficult for Venus to state that she knows better when Serena has become the best at what she has chosen.  This is the trade-off and why this relationship works (at least on the tennis court).

Looking at the basic personalities, in my opinion, it is possible to see how Venus and Serena work so well together.  It is almost like an ebb and flow situation with the mothering, caring, diplomatic side in Venus and the flexible, adaptable side in Serena.

Needless to say, family would also have a contributing factor into why this particular relationship works.  To do an in-depth study you would and should look at the relationship between each person and their parents as well.

John

Hello World

We all ask the question, Why?, more so if some misfortune happens.  One aspect of our lives that attracts most questions is where and how we deal with other people.  Why?  (you see there you go asking questions)  It is probably because it has the most impact on us as individuals.  Questions like: -

• Why do I have problems dealing with certain individuals or my children?
• Why don’t I get on with someone in my family?
• Why do I like a certain person but not their friend?
• Why can I relate to one parent more than the other?
• Why? Why? Why?

The list of questions is endless because you are continually meeting people and having to interact with them.  The study of human behaviour can be found in any of the ancient civilizations of Greece, Egypt, Persia, India, China, Japan, etc.  The question has always been asked and probably will always be asked “What makes a person tick“?  Psychology has tried to answer questions regarding human behaviour and it is only in the last 100 years or so that psychometric testing has been developed.

Psychometric Tests

The ‘psycho’ part means it’s to do with your brain and the ‘metric’ part means some form of measurement.   These ‘tests’ or measurements quantify your mental and cognitive abilities - such as reasoning, behaviour, knowledge, abilities, attitudes, and personality traits.

Some people seem to put a lot of store in these psychometric tests because they appear to consider them as an exact science while disregarding other systems from older times as having no scientific credibility.  I believe that people who think that way are totally wrong.  Kyu Sei Ki, for example, has been around for hundreds and hundreds of years and has been continually validated through constant use and direct positive feedback.

Compatibility and Dating Sites

Dating web-sites will tend to offer so called ‘free’ personality profiles to encourage people to sign-up and pay for the dating service.  I have checked several of these sites and I would have to say I am not impressed.

One of the market leading sites gave me a compatibility result that matched me on 25 points that included language, height, body type, diet, politics, hair, eyes and ethnicity even though I never stated a preference on any of these issues.  Another site that gave me a ‘free’ report stated in their Terms that once I became a member and paid I would get the actual ‘real’ report which would be about 80 pages long.

A Drawback of Psychometric Tests

All of these ‘free’ compatibility profiles are claimed to be based on psychometric tests and are supposed to match me with ideal partners.  I was so intrigued with this that I did some extensive research and found that “no general (accepted) theory of interpersonal compatibility has been proposed in psychology” and, according to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interpersonal_compatibility as well as several eminent publications, “existing concepts are contradictory in many details“.

It is difficult though to do psychometric tests and find out if you are compatible when it’s someone you are acquainted with or have just met unless you were introduced through a dating service or matchmaker.  Also, how do you profile a member of your family or a work colleague where there is no question of ‘dating’ or offering employment?

My Conclusion

I suppose that you can gather that I am not a big fan of psychometric tests when it comes down to finding out about interpersonal relationship compatibility. I don’t think that there are many people who could do one of these tests and not think “what are they looking for with that question?” and then tailoring an answer to what they think is expected.  I have even done that myself!

Psychology profiling, in my opinion, is best described as ’self reporting’.  It is only as accurate as your answers, your current mental state and the professionalism of the interpretation of the results.   As I have said before, I have done several of these tests and I always have problems picking the answer I want from the limited multi-choices.  Most of the time the answer I want is not there, so I end up putting a tick against the closest answer and subsequently feel that the test is not entirely accurate.  That is just my feeling.

Psychometric tests have their place when it comes to explaining individual human behaviour but I do not see it taking into account human interaction and influences.  I believe that there are more viable alternatives out there when it comes to determining the personal compatibility relationship between two people.

Thank you for reading my Blog and I do hope that you will bookmark and share it with others.  In my next Blog I will look at the compatibility between one or two celebrity couples so if you want to make suggestions I would be happy to consider your requests.

John

Hello World

You have started seeing or dating someone but you are not sure if he or she is your type? The fact of the matter is that simple attraction is not enough for a lasting relationship. You need to be compatible or at least accepting of the type of relationship you are embarking upon.

I’m sure we all think we know the type of personal relationship we have with the one we love.  When I started out with my partner, I thought I knew the dynamics of our relationship but now, years later, I can see that I was certainly incorrect and what I’ve learnt has given me more tolerance and a better understanding.

Personal relationships can start in any number of different ways but once you start there will be a sort of subconscious (or conscious) mental checklist that you will go through about the other person:

• Social aspects - family background, social standing in the community, behaviour, etc.
• Priorities and values
• Financial issues
• Education

• Personality and Compatibility

The first four points you can either see or check through many different sources.  The last, on the compatibility of your personalities is a little more difficult.  All that was available, until now, was psychometric testing.  A little bit drastic in a social situation don’t you think!  What happens if these psychometric tests say that you are only 25% compatible?  Will you even bother making contact?

So what happens if you find yourself in or attracted to a controlling type of personal relationship?  For starters, there is nothing wrong with that provided you both know the relationship, why it works, how it works and know the acceptance and understanding you have to have.

Some examples

Over the last number of years I have profiled many couples who would be in the category of having a conflicting type of relationship.  Two couples I profiled stand out more than others because the couples were so similar in their characteristics with the husbands being the controlling influence.   They were also similar in financial matters, social standing, education and age.

What was interesting was the dynamics of the relationships were vastly different.  One couple were aware of the controlling aspect in their relationship and really worked at communicating and being aware and considerate of the other person.  It was and is a very open relationship that works.

The other marriage was all about control and dominance to the point where the husband would forbid his wife from following interests he didn’t agree with.  She made the excuse that she was a hell-raiser in her youth and now needed someone to take charge.  Because of her situation she pursued her interests in secret.  Observing the situation over the period of several weeks I could see her stress and uneasy frustration by her not talking and sharing.  She in turn took out her frustration on her children.

Conclusion

It may be that these conflicting personal relationships are difficult and there may be fights but if the communication, desire and passion are there to make the relationship work then there is a better chance of success.  If not and from what I have seen over and over again, a conflicting personal relationship has a greater chance of failure than most other types of relationships.

Something to think about

Some people think that parents shouting and screaming at each other is normal in a relationship or family.  So if you have grown up with this type of situation it is probable that you may pick a similar type of relationship and relive the same problems in their personal relationships because it is what you are used to as being normal.

So if a marriage or long-term personal relationship fails and the parents of one of the couple have previously been through a divorce, when they were young, it is taken that the reason is they came from a ‘broken home’ so the failed relationship was doomed from the start.  If you know the dynamics of your relationship(s) you might not have to go through that heartache!

John

The office or the workplace is another area where you probably don’t have any options as to who you work with unless you are the boss.   Even at that bosses, managers and co-workers can have daily conflict with their employees and fellow workers especially where someone is ‘placed’ into a job involving a close working relationship with others.  Replacing a key employee can be a real nightmare and if it is not right, problems can follow.

A few years ago I read an article in a newspaper on business and decision-making, which I found extremely interesting but not surprising.  It was reported that new research from Cranfield University, one of the world’s leading business schools, found that personality was the key to decision-making.  http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/finance/2006/0707/1146660098201.html

The researcher found the results were rather surprising.  It seems that,” where you have been, what you have trained in, how long you have been around was all rather irrelevant.  What did turn out to be important was your personality.” It concluded that “managers need to become more aware of their own personality traits and the likely biases they have on their decision making.”

Most of the classified job ads I have ever seen have all looked for people with “good inter-personal skills” as well as the appropriate qualifications.  Psychometric tests are used as a guide to employers but I feel and believe that they are incomplete.  Psychometric testing is about ‘individuals’ and their ‘behaviour’ as compared to an accepted statistical norm. They are not about personal compatibility between people but how you are likely to behave or react to a given situation without any help from others.

So you go for a job and before you even get to see the people you could work with you have to get past the interviewer who might not even have anything to do with your prospective new employer.   It happened to me many years ago.

My experience

Wanting to change my career direction I went to a job agent I knew socially, for a particular job.  With help, I compiled a super CV, did his psychometric tests and was interviewed, but I didn’t get the job.  I subsequently found out that the job went to someone less qualified for the position but who was a personal friend of the agent.  I have to say that I was annoyed at being treated in such a fashion by someone I knew.

Knowing what I know now I checked back on our personalities and found that I was a conflicting personality to the job agent and therefore there was no supportive connection between us.  With hindsight it now doesn’t surprise me that I didn’t get that job.

Another example

I was recently consulted by a managing director whose personal assistant took maternity leave and was temporally replaced, by the human resources department, with another person from within the organization.  Unfortunately the replacement, despite being highly qualified, had a conflicting or controlling personality to her temporary new boss.  Almost immediately there was tension between the two.

Because of this controlling personality the boss felt that this temporary assistant was showing him disrespect, was treating him with contempt and would even be argumentative with him regarding simple business matters.  The director felt the pressure from this person and adopted the attitude of “I am the boss and I will not have anyone talk down to me“.

That lead the personal assistant to take an opposite stance stating “I will not be bullied and I’m entitled to my opinion“.  The result was that the stress levels grew and filtered down through the whole company so much so that absenteeism among other employees grew and the business suffered.

Being able to identify and deflect possible conflict by changing reporting structures or selecting people based on supporting personalities can only have a more positive result on business.

John

Hello World

My first blog was written as a brief overview of personal relationship compatibility to show how inter-relationships were viewed from ancient times, in eastern philosophy, and how the same basic principles hold true today.   In this blog I want to look at or expand on what I mean by the ‘Conflict, Challenge, Control’ aspect of personal relationships.

I do not want to look at the behaviour of anyone in conflict or the psychological aspect but at the point where you come to realise that you just don’t like someone or where you know you are just opposites in personality to someone else.  Psychologists do enough research into human behaviour for me not to want to go down that route.

It is a generally accepted truth that some personality traits are innate, you are born with them, and some are learned.  I am sure you have heard people saying or have even said it yourself, “I acted on instinct”.  It is this basic instinct and your basic natural personality traits that result in your behaviour.  So, if your personality is that you are a straight talking individual you may dislike someone who deals in half-truths.  Behavioural responses will vary in a variety of different situations but all reactions or behaviour comes from your basic personality traits.

Family Relationships and Conflict

The family group is probably one area where you most often act according to your own inner nature.  It is the area where you get your first experiences of personalities and the compatibility of people.  This is also where you probably let your guard down the most, where you relax and ‘be yourself’.  This is because you feel most comfortable in surroundings you know and also where you know all the parameters.

The family is one of the groups where you do not choose the people you live with, at least not in your earlier years.  Take a situation where two members of the same family (sisters, brothers or brother/sister) just always seem to spark off each other, so much so that a parent might say “Why can’t you two just get along for once“.  With investigation, I have found that one person (call them Person A) probably has a more dominant personality and the one that controls the other (Person B) in the relationship.

According to eastern philosophy it is all about energies and how they interact with each other.  In reality, in a challenging family situation as indicated above, this manifests itself in a way that B feels the pressure from A.  A feels no stress nor sees any reason for a negative reaction from B.  With a negative outburst or reaction from B the other person might be totally puzzled and possibly make a comment like “What’s your problem?“, and are genuinely not understanding the reaction from the other person.

B is not necessarily a weak or a meek person, they may even get into another argument a short time later with someone they dominate, control or challenge.  Once you can identify where problems in family relationships might happen then you can take appropriate avoiding action.

So if there is continual tension in a personal relationship it may be because of the interaction of characteristics of the two individuals that may have very little to do with what has actually been said or done.  By understanding that a particular relationship is difficult will make it easier for you to modify your own reaction and defuse possible conflict.

John

Next:

Workplace and Conflict (Part 2 of 3)

Love and a Challenging Relationship (Part 3 of 3)

Hello World and welcome to my very first blog.

Over the years the question that I am asked most often is “Are we compatible?” It does not matter who is asking about whom, it is still the same question, whether it is a couple, parents about their children, business colleagues, family members, in-laws or friends asking.

Everyone wants to be liked, to “get on” with others and even to “make the connection”. The popularity of Social Networks is a testament to this fact. The Every121 website has been developed to help you make good connections with others, especially those who are compatible with you, and to help you build quality personal relationships.

Types of Relationships

There are 5 types of relationships that you can have. These are:-

A relationship

• - where you support someone.
• - where someone supports you.
• - where you challenge/ conflict/ control someone.
• - where someone challenges/ conflicts/ controls you.
• - where you are both similar.

I am not talking about financial support, although this may also be the case, I am talking in terms of emotional or moral support, depending on the relationship. On the other side you will meet or know someone who challenges, conflicts or controls you. These are harsh words and can be very negative if used in their most severe sense.

I know great loving relationships where one partner controls the other and it is accepted because one feels that they need some sort of control in their life and they are happy to let someone offer that side in the relationship. In that case it is not negative and as the saying goes “opposites (can) attract”. So logically, there are no “right” and “wrong” relationships but personal growth in the acceptance and understanding of the other person.

Generally speaking, you will probably know whether you like someone or not once you have met them. What isn’t obvious is the type of relationship that might follow. A personal relationship may be considered ‘good’ or ‘not so good’ depending on the circumstances and therefore Every121 is not set up in judgement of any of your personal relationships. I believe in every personal relationship as being a learning experience that helps you to grow in character and that in its own way can be very rewarding depending on how it is viewed.

Where can relationships go wrong?

People are usually too busy to be aware of the type of relationship they are involved in and this can lead to problems and at worst to breakdown of that relationship. This holds true for husband/ wife; brother/ sister; mother/ father; parent/ child; boss/ employee; anyone and everyone. If you are aware of the type of personal relationship you have with the different people in your life you can decide for yourself what would be the most appropriate course of action to take in any given situation.

One example could be, if you have a conflicting relationship with a family member and you are continually “making the effort” only to have it thrown back in your face, by knowing the type of relationship you have may bring you to an understanding and acceptance of the other person.

Conversely you could be getting on great with a friend or someone but have no idea who supports whom or if you are similar. Being similar would be where you have the same or similar primary character traits as the other person and this is most obvious in school friends of the same age.

Being aware of the type of relationship you are in can give you a better understanding and appreciation of those around you and can lead you to focus your efforts on the relationships you want to develop and accept those you cannot change.

The topic of ‘types of relationships’ in vast and complex and just because you are accepting one type of relationship with one person this does not mean that you will accept a similar one from someone else.

Ultimately everyone makes their own decision and choice. It is comforting to know that there are a few sites on the Web that can assist you in making an informed selection. Some sites ask psychometric questions covering many different topics while I look at “this is the person’s character and behaviour can be conditioned”.

I believe that Every121 can help you to better understand the love, romance, friends and family relationships in your life.

John